Attitude of Keralites towards Cohabitation

Attitude of Keralites towards Cohabitation

“This is a poem of the blessed rains, let love be free.” This was the caption Jibon Ahamed , a young Bangladeshi photographer gave to a photo posted on his Facebook timeline “ of a couple kissing in rain” in front of the Dhakka university campus. Though the photo immediately went viral with mixed reactions, the self-proclaimed social media moral police took the issue to next level by saying, Jibon Ahamed was spreading obscenity. He had to pay a lot for expressing the love of his heart. Moral policing is a big issue in Kerala as well. We hear multiple incidents of moral policing a day. In recent decades there has been a dramatic change in the perception of Couple formation patterns, and cohabitation has turned a fashion and passion among young generations. It is not correct that only young generation is willing to follow living together system. Here, a study conducted by True Code, a leading marketing research company in India, examines the views of men and women of different age category, towards Cohabitation. Supreme Court in Indra sarma vs V K V Sarma case defined living relationships as follows.
  • A domestic cohabitation between an adult unmarried male and adult unmarried female.
  • A domestic cohabitation between an adult unmarried man a married women 
  • A domestic cohabitation between an adult unmarried man and a married women 
  • A domestic cohabitation between two homosexual partners.
Section 497 of the Indian penal code deals with adultery. As per the law, a women cannot be punished for the offence of adultery, but a man who has a consensual sexual intercourse with the wife of another man without his consent can be punished under this offence in India.The True code market research Kochi survey reveals that 5.7 percentage of the respondents live together without marrying. They say “it’s because of the convenience for separation, they opt living together because when we realize once we get married that it is not going to work anymore, the process of divorce cost a lot” but many respondents disagree with this. In their opinion it is always good to have a companion of your choice, having similar thoughts, likes and dislikes, moral values.   A place like Kerala where most of the people belong to conservative backgrounds, this percentage is moderately high. Among the respondents 77 percentage were single and 17.3 percentage were married. It also says 5.7 percentage of the unmarried respondents live with their partner, 52.5 percentage live with their parents, 13.1 percentage live with their spouse. And rest of the percentage of respondents live single or with their friends.The supreme court of India recently made a remark that an adult couple has the right to live together without marriage and moreover live in relationships were now even recognized by the legislature and they had found a place under the provisions of the protection of women from domestic violence act, 2005. Though our society is not ready to accept it, as the existing liberal laws say. In the survey report, it says that 47.5 percentage of the respondents were sure that their parents would not accept the concept called cohabitation and 31.7 percentage says that they don’t think their family would agree with this. Most of them say that they strictly believe in the institution of marriage. But 2.8 percentage says that their family would agree with “living together” and 8.6 percentage think that their parents may agree with it.62.6 percentage of the respondents say they are aware of unmarried couple living together in their circle. But 37.4 percentage are completely unaware of it.But the survey results are more shocking in a way, it tells that 70.5 percentage of the couple feel insecurity on the streets in Kerala even after all these judgments came. 74.1 percentage of the respondents feel uncomfortable with the presence of moral police. They say it is unnecessary to peep into others life. Only 15.8 percentage think that moral policing is needed to control certain “acts and mannerisms”. In Kerala the incidents of moral policing is high , even in marine drive beach, park , malls we are not safe to sit together with our partner and mob effect can be sited as one of the reasons for moral policing one of the respondent says.One of the respondents says we need to grow our child in healthy environment where there is no gender difference, no inequality, to make them understand about healthy relationships. It’s the problem of upbringing which create most of the problem we see in the society. They don’t know to respect others space in this world, the solution lies in correcting the mindset of growing generation. Recently the supreme court of India in a landmark judgment ruled that the right to privacy is a fundamental right which emerges primarily from the guarantee of life and personal liberty in article 21 of the Indian constitution. The judgment take a historic step by declaring that the Indian constitution contains the right to privacy, embedded in long established fundamental rights including individual dignity, liberty and freedom of expression. But these rights hardly help the victims at times, the one of the respondent said. In a related judgment SC observed that, if an unmarried couple is living together as husband and wife , then they can be considered as legally married couple , the women would be eligible to inherit the property after death of her partner and the children born of live in relationships are legitimate.  In reality 74.8 percentage of the respondents do not have any idea of availability of accommodation at the same time, 8.6 percentage of the respondents say that it was a nightmare getting a safe and comfortable accommodation for an unmarried couple here in Kerala. It is not only to the live in couples who are not able find an accommodation but the bachelors also suffer because of the fear of house owners whether they will bring the opposite sex to the house .The long standing system of patriarchy allows people to question live in relationships, they act as they do not understand live in relationships, one respondent opined. The market research survey says 75.5 percentage of the respondents are aware of the hotel room booking apps like Oyo rooms and among that, 39.6 percentage feel comfortable booking rooms with the apps. 7.9 percentage of respondents say it was uncomfortable booking rooms with apps.6.5 percentage say they do not stay with their partner in hotel rooms.We do have various apps to chat, to order food, and buy cloths and so many.
       But, now the trend is using apps to date. “Quack quack.in”, is the most popular among them in Kerala to find out the best partner to live with. These fact reveals that the concept of live in relationships are no longer a taboo among keratitis. People have started to think differently, away from the long followed customs of marriage, says Louis Issac,Managing director of True Code Market research agency, India.